Five more days til vacation! Of course the main intent of taking this trip is the chance to visit my dad’s grave, and visit with family…. perhaps do a little genealogical digging while I’m there…  but I’m starting to plan out other things E and I can do while visiting my home town of Wabasha.

 Clearly, we will enjoy the scenic beauty of the River, though it will look a little different in Wintertime, frozen solid with cars parked on it.

(I took this picture of the Mississippi River, on my last trip up there, in June of 2006)

And while enjoying the beauty of nature, we will make a stop at the National Eagle Center which is located in Wabasha… where you can see Bald Eagles circling over the Mississippi River year round.

We could visit the nation’s largest independant toy store, just down the road in Kellogg… Lark Toys!

We’ll be driving up the road just a little ways to visit my Aunt Murriel in Red Wing, MN. Maybe we’ll go search out the Stone Cairn’s, which are Native American Indian Mounds found in the area…

We’ll definately have to cross the river, over to Wisconsin, visit the Nelson Cheese factory (where I used to follow my dad around sampling the cheese when I was a little girl, and ending the trip with an ice cream cone) and then take a drive along the The Great River Road which is unsurpassed in its beauty and winds it way between the Mississippi River and the 500 ft Limestone Bluffs. Part of that drive will include a visit to Maiden Rock which I visit every time I am in the area. Maiden Rock is where the legendary Sioux Maiden We-no-nah leapt to her death to avoid marrying a man she didn’t love. The town of Winona, just south along HWY 61 from Wabasha, is named after her. Winona Ryder was born nearby and named after the town of Winona.

We could always go skiing, at Coffee Mill… Though if you’ve ever heard the story of my first and only attempt on ski’s you won’t be surprised if I sit out and let Eric go by himself.

And of course, at least one night will be spent having a romantic dinner at The Historic Anderson House in Downtown Wabasha.

At any rate, I think we will manage to keep ourselves busy, and I cannot wait to go!

One more week.  One more week til my vacation, and I’m still not assured that I will be able to do what I want to do, and go to  Minnesota to visit my dads grave.  I have so many unknown variables to work with.  Will we have the money?  Will my car be in good enough condition to make that drive? Well, actually… I guess those are the main two.

Is it the end of the world if I can’t go? No.  I’ll still have a week off, I’ll still enjoy myself and relax.

But it would mean so much to me to be able to go.  The chance to visit my dad’s grave by myself, without my mom or other family to detract from my own opportunity to grieve… the first chance in 9 years…. to be there right before the anniversary of his death, which lets face it – is still a big deal to me, whether it should be or not.  The chance to stay with my Uncle, one of my dad’s brothers, who I’ve always longed to be closer to…  The chance to get out of town at a time when I need nothing more than to get away…

I don’t know if anyone understands this need that I have to do this.   But that doesn’t make it any less important.

Those that know me know that I can be pretty ditzy at times, not to mention clumsy…  And how can I deny it?  Facts are facts. 

For example, there was the time when I left work late, got out to my car and tried to start it, only to realize that I had left my lights on that morning and my battery was dead as a doornail.  Perfect. I couldn’t get ahold of my husband so I called my boss, who luckily was still at work.  She told me that she would find some guy to come help me jumpstart my car, so I said I would head back upstairs.  On my way back to the building, it suddenly dawned on me that I couldn’t remember taking my keys out of the ignition.  I jogged back to the car, and looked in the window and sure enough, there they were, dangling in plain sight.  A bad time, right?  Well, a narrow escape, because luckily I had found my spare key just two days before, and had put it in my purse.  Whew!  I headed back to the building and found the guy who was willing to help me out. When we got to the parking lot, I got in my car to pop the hood, and at the same time I was telling him how in addition to having a dead battery, I had nearly locked my keys in my car.  Just as I finished my story, I got out of the car, locked the door, and shut it… with both sets of keys, my purse and my cell phone inside.  I realized as soon as pushed the door shut, what I had done, and I couldn’t even speak.  I just rested my head on my car and laughed… I then had to explain to this poor guy who was just trying to help me, what I had done.  He didn’t know whether to feel bad for me or to laugh.  I shrugged my shoulders and told him he may as well go home, I was going to have to figure something else out.  Just at that moment, another guy that works in my office came walking by on the way to his car and asked if I needed help.  Luckily, he had a hanger in his car, and with a little finagling, saved my day. 

And then, there was the time when I unintentionally took an extended lunch.  I must tell you, that when it comes to directions, I am… mentally challenged.  I can’t help it, its just the way I am, and whichever way my instinct tells me to go, its wrong.  If my husband and I are trying to go somewhere and aren’t sure of the way, he’ll look at me and say “Which way do YOU think we should go?”… and then he’ll go the other way and it will be right.  No joke.  So one day I decided that I was going to go visit my friend Monkeypants on lunch, at his work, on my way to pick up concert tickets for Cross Canadian Ragweed that night.  I saw him, visited for a bit, got the tickets and realized that I had enough time to go to Subway and pick up lunch, and still get back to the office by 1 pm.  Perfect!  Well, I called my friend Mary to chat with her, as I headed towards 169.  I saw the sign for 169 North and thought “OH! that’s where I need to be” so I got over, and got on the highway, pretty proud of myself for figuring that out.  As I talked to Mary, there were a couple moments where the thought crept through my mind that there seemed to be a lot less buildings than I remembered, but I reassured myself that I was going North, so therefore was fine, dismissed the thought from my mind and continued to drive.  Until I saw a sign that said “Owasso City Limits”.  WHAT??  I had done it again.  I had driven the wrong way, and ended up in Owasso before I realized.  Forty minutes out of my way. Luckily every one I work with is aware of my disability, and just took the opportunity to have a good laugh at my expense.

There are so many other examples… The TWO DIFFERENT times I had a friend over, and we went outside to smoke a cigarette and I locked us out of the house. Once, we broke in through a window, but the second time we had had our windows replaced, and that was no longer an option, so I had to call my father in law to come with his key.   Or the time I locked my keys in my car while getting gas at QT and an entire firetruck filled with firemen came to rescue me… til my mom showed up with a spare and made me tell them to go away because in her words “Eric wouldn’t appreciate how excited you are getting over all of those firemen, Megan”.   And then of course, the time many years ago that I worked at Walmart, and was taking my lunch at the McDonalds inside.. When I got up to go back to work, stood up and pushed my chair in, I saw my McDonalds cup dangling from my left boob.  THAT confused the hell out of me… until I realized that the lid of my cup had slid perfectly over the breast pocket button on my denim shirt.  Laughing at myself, I went back up to my department and loudly announced to my co-workers that I should have a sign on my back, that says ‘Take me home, I do Tricks!’, at which point I noticed the 80 year old woman they were waiting on who gave me a disgusted look, and turned and walked away, shaking her head. 

All this to say that I really shouldn’t be surprised at myself for last weeks major event.  E and I hung out with some friends til the wee hours last Friday night, and then when we left, agreed to give his friend Tim a ride home.  Tim insisted that we come to his condo…  and we ended up hanging out there for another hour until I finally insisted that 2 am was definately my bedtime.  As we headed down the stairs outside, I thought to myself, “These stairs are really dangerous, I hope Eric isn’t so drunk that he falls down them” and then 2.5 seconds later, I tripped over my own feet and fell off the last 3 steps.  I landed on my knee, and pretty much thought I had broken my leg, and after rolling around, moaning and threatening Eric’s life if he tried to touch me or move me, proceeded to crawl back up the stairs, hopped on one leg into Tim’s bedroom, and went to sleep there, hoping to God I would wake up to discover it was all a bad dream.  What I woke up to discover was that I still couldn’t walk, but fairly certain I just had a sprained ankle.   A week later, I’m still limping around, but I can at least walk without crutches.

Its a hard life being me, and I think I scare my husband most of the time, but I always tell him… at least I’m not boring

I have some very strange dreams sometime, but I had one the other day that I just have to write down.

Eric and I were walking and all of a sudden I saw my dad.   I went up to him and said “Can I have a hug?”   He teased me and said “Aren’t you a little old to be getting hugs?” And I said no… so he hugged me and said, still teasing “I don’t know, it feels a little weird, you should still be a little girl” and I said “I think it feels like heaven”.   Then as we started to walk away from each other I called out to him “I’m coming to see you Dad! I’m coming to see you in February!” and then all of a sudden I realized I was dreaming.  I said out loud “This is a dream.  I’m dreaming!” And I turned around to look back at my dad, and when he turned around it wasn’t him anymore, it was me.  Except the Dream Me didn’t look exactly like me…  a little more wild, wearing a red dress….  made me feel a little scared though of what I didn’t know.  Then the Dream Me made a kind of “Surprise!” face, though not really in a nice way, and not really in a mean way either.  I didn’t like it though, so I stuck my tongue out at her and woke myself up.

It reminds me of another lucid dream I had.  That time I was at a swimming pool, my mom was there, and some other people…but it was really hard to swim.  I got out of the pool and wondered why it was so hard to swim, like my arms were so heavy.  Then I thought – that’s how it feels when I’m dreaming…. and I again said out loud “I’m dreaming! This is a dream!”  And knowing then it was a dream I decided it was going to be what I wanted it to be, and I said out loud “I want to see my dad!”  Everything around me started melting away, and all of a sudden it was like I was sitting in a crazily tilting chair in a madly melting world of black swirling nothingness around me… and out of the darkness I heard footsteps…. and I got scared again and woke myself up.

I have no idea what they might mean, they’re just weird dreams that stick with me.

Ahh weekends…. 

I love my job, and even when E and I are daydreaming about that elusive ’someday’ when we will be working for ourselves and/or have enough money that I could quit, I’m never exactly sure I would want to.  I find it quite satisfying to work in the field I’ve been in for the last 8 years, even when I’m sick of office politics, or the stress that comes with it.

But to say I work for the weekends is true… they are all that keeps me going. 

And actually, very soon I will have a little over a week off, and I simply cannot wait.  I am still hoping that we’ll be able to go up to my hometown of Wabasha.  I’d love to visit, and I’d love E to experience it in the winter time.  (Boy, is he in for a shocker).  But if you’ve never seen cars parked on the river or lake, then you really haven’t lived!!  We’ll see… if it turns out I can’t go, I’ll make the best of it.  I do enjoy a vacation spent at home occasionally.  I never seem to have enough time to do the things that I want to do around here.  And I have so many projects at the new house.  I have to finish painting trim in the living room and hang my curtains…. after I finish the last bit of sewing I have to do on them.  Then I have to put up my cornices.  (love them).    We still have Eric’s studio to work on, and of course the biggest room of all - what will someday be our family room but right now is still full of things begging for our attention. 

To be honest, if I was a little less social, some of these things would probably have been done already.  But I divide my time between friends, family and Eric, with as much ME time thrown in as possible.  Sometimes that means arranging for E to hang out with one of his friends to get the house to myself…. and at that point, usually all that appeals is curling up on the couch with Stormie, a cozy fire and a good book.  Or, alternatively, a good movie…  But we are making progress at least and that’s all the matters.

Last night we went to dinner and bowling with friends… which ended early so we went to their house and stayed up late.  I slept in til 10ish, and then E and I went estate sale shopping which was fun.   I found an old camera that I bought for $5.  I just liked the look of it.  Its an Argus, I think C2 is the model, judging from the info I was able to find online.  They only made them between 1938 and 1942,  I’m going to have my photographer friend take a look at it since the film release thingy seems wobbly.  I also found something tiny but very exciting!  (sidenote: shopping at estate sales is always a little sad to me.  Sifting through the personal property of someone who just died, while family look on?  it doesn’t bear thinking about too much)   I was browsing through various knicknacks on a shelf when I saw two wayang puppet pens!!  Let me explain…

Wayang puppets are from Indonesia and look like this:

 when I was there 12 years ago and buying souvenirs, I picked up several pens that were carved and brightly painted like miniature wayang puppets…  I gave some away and the ones I kept for myself have long since disappeared.  But there I was, at an estate sale for an elderly woman today and saw two of them laying in front of me!  One blue, and one green, and I snatched them up, completely happy to pay 50 cents for pens that don’t work.  I wondered how the woman had come about having them as I didn’t see anything else in the house that really looked like it might have journeyed from Indonesia.  Regardless, I’m happy.  Maybe I’ll take a pic of them tomorrow and post. 

Tomorrow our plan is to go to the flea markets and see what treasures we can find.  I know E will want me to wake up early with him and go, and I certainly hope I can considering how late it is already.  I am wide awake.  But,  I think that I will at least go through the motions of getting ready for sleep, and read in bed until my eyes shut of their own accord. 

So here I am, starting the beginning of a new blog, and facing what many bloggers must have faced before me… how to start? 

I’m not new to blogging.  In fact, I am known in some circles as a serial blogger.  I had a pseudo-anonymous blog for a while on another site, and then gave up on that when I discovered myspace.  At first it was hard for me to blog freely with so many people that knew me reading, but I soon got over it… however… lately I find that I’m back to feeling inhibited by writing on a page that is so inundated with friends and family.  I find myself censoring, and I don’t like censoring.  So my blogging habits have died down on there and I’ve been thinking about starting fresh somewhere else.  Well… this is my somewhere else.

My excitement at the thought of being able to write whatever I wish is slightly hampered by my 4pm hour sleepiness.  However, knowing me, I will be on here at approximately 12am, freshly arrived home from a patio night with girl friends and wine, which for whatever reason always inspires me to get online and write.

I am so sleepy I can hardly get excited right now about patio night, which I’ve been looking forward to for two days….  but I’m sure a hot shower before heading over to Jen’s, along with some comfy layers of clothing to keep me warm in the mid January chill will make a world of difference.

New blog, I have so much to say!  But I have lots of time in which to say it, so for now I’ll just leave you with ….

until next time.

M