One more week. One more week til my vacation, and I’m still not assured that I will be able to do what I want to do, and go to Minnesota to visit my dads grave. I have so many unknown variables to work with. Will we have the money? Will my car be in good enough condition to make that drive? Well, actually… I guess those are the main two.
Is it the end of the world if I can’t go? No. I’ll still have a week off, I’ll still enjoy myself and relax.
But it would mean so much to me to be able to go. The chance to visit my dad’s grave by myself, without my mom or other family to detract from my own opportunity to grieve… the first chance in 9 years…. to be there right before the anniversary of his death, which lets face it – is still a big deal to me, whether it should be or not. The chance to stay with my Uncle, one of my dad’s brothers, who I’ve always longed to be closer to… The chance to get out of town at a time when I need nothing more than to get away…
I don’t know if anyone understands this need that I have to do this. But that doesn’t make it any less important.
